Do you have friends or foes in your corner ? It’s a question we ask ourselves a lot when dealing with people.
Questions like are these people really here for me or are they’re yes men ?
Well if you ask yourself these questions a lot, don’t worry. I do the same thing. Let me explain what is a Friend or Foe.
What friendship means to me is people who are like a primary or secondary family. People you can count on; people you don’t have to question; people that aren’t jealous of your success and growth.
Friends shouldn’t be intimidated by you or new connections. They’re suppose to be your base, your home.
My friends are amazing. I don’t have to talk to them every day, but when I speak to them it’s like we’ve spoken to one another every day. We encourage each other, we have mutual love for each other, we trust each other, and we give each other the greatest advice. If your friends are not doing this, are they really your friends or are they your foes ?
The definition of Foes to me is simple. Foes are enemies and they can be just about anyone.
I’ve had so many foes in my corner and didn’t recognize them because they posed as my friends.
People I’ve counted on and told everything to even proved to be foes in the long run. Confiding in them was a wrong move, because my foes ended up using what they knew about me against me. My foes broke me down, made me cry, and gave me extreme trust issues.
The things I’ve been through with foes caused a lot of damage that impacted how I treated my real friends. I’ve begun to heal from these damages and I’m still healing (I’ll be doing a whole different post on healing from toxic friendships ).
This Blog post today is to show you how to identify real friends and to weed out the Foe Friends.
The first thing to recognizing foes in your circle is simple; when you start to feel weird vibes and start to question people in your circle, there could be a foe.
Signs of Foes below
- Yes man ( anyone that says yes to any decision you have, even the bad decisions.)
- So and So said this (always come to you with what people have said about you)
- Gossip (has nothing productive to say, only can speak on others and drama)
- Can’t hold a conversation (never talk about their own success)
- Name shouters (you hear them say your name when speaking to someone else, but when you ask them they say “Nothing”)
- Shout out your failures and whisper your accomplishments ( want you to doubt yourself give up )
- Plotting ( using you for a come up and don’t care for you personally)
- Don’t correct your wrongs
- Don’t understand you
- Watch your life crumble without trying to help
- Hurt you
The list can go on and on, but those are the tings you should watch out for and when you see it pay attention and eliminate ( I will be doing a blog post on cutting off toxic people) .
Now that I have you a list of how to weed out Foes; here is a List of Real friends.
Signs of real friends
- Not a yes man
- Care for your well being
- Correct your wrongs
- Understand your past
- Doesn’t judge you
- Give advice
- Contributes to your happiness
- Self branded ( stabled not a career leech )
- Doesn’t let you make wrong decisions
- Give you congratulations
- Brand ( help with your brand doesn’t sit and eat without serving and preparing)
- Shout out your success
- Stand by you
- Fight off other foes
- Make you feel like a family member
This list can go on and on but I listed some things you should look out for; if your friends sound like this hold them close and continue to grow.
Now I ask you are your people friends or foes?
Are you a friend or foe ?